Beast Boy’s Secret
by CNfanatic
Summary: Beast Boy is hiding something from the Titans after a disturbance in his life. Will he be able to make it? Frequent POV changes. Rated T for extreme mental illness and other adult content (no lemons) PART 1 in LUV U 2 Universe
1. Episode 1: Birthday

**This is my first fanfiction!! I'm so excited! I will likely post every other week, with new update dates on my profile. This is a BBRae story, but no lemons cause ew. Thanks for reading! I'm not sure how long I'm gonna make this series yet- maybe 4 episodes, maybe 50. I'll stop when you want me to stop. Also!! I will shoutout one of my reviewers at the end of all of my stories, but you can only be shouted out once (I'll keep track ;)) I really hope you enjoy the story!!!**

"Happy Birthday, dear Raven!! Happy Birthday to you!" The Titans screamed.

"And many more", Cyborg added with jazz hands.

Raven blushed as Starfire used her laser eye beams to create beautiful green flames that may have smelled like strawberries- or maybe that was the cake.

"Blow out your candles, friend Raven!" Starfire giggled. Raven thought about her wish, but then remembered she was a demon and the birthday fairy didn't bother with demon's wishes. Raven sighed, but she knew she had everything she wanted to be happy. Except…

Raven took a deep breath and blew out the candles, but they remained lit. "Star…," she grumbled as Starfire smiled.

"I am sorry friend Raven. Beast Boy told me to make you the candle tricks."

Beast Boy smirked from his end of the table. He sat at the edge, watching the fun play out. "Sorry Rae Rae. I thought you liked tricks."

"I do. But only when I'M the one playing the tricks. Get it?"

"Yeah, sure. Robin, gimme an end piece!"

Robin grabbed a knife but before he could cut the cake, Raven yelled, "Wait!"

Robin froze. "W-what Raven?" He stammered.

"The candles are still lit. And I never got to make my wish."

"Oh. Right. Uh, yeah, go ahead Raven." Robin backed away.

Oh please oh please oh please let Beastie like me back, she pleaded internally. She didn't like to admit it, but ever since the Titans moved into their tower, Raven, then only 14, realized how handsome and funny Beast Boy was, who, at the time, was 15. Raven was the youngest of the Titans, but she acted most mature. She loved the Titans, they just got on her nerves sometimes. Thinking about dating Beast Boy though… Her troubles melted away. If only it was a reality…

Raven blew hard, and this time the candles were extinguished. Everyone clapped and cheered, mostly because of the cake Robin was serving everyone.

"Mmpph- Rae- umphhhhh- dish ish shoo good!" Cyborg exclaimed, with cake still in his mouth. "Robin, twy shum!"

"No thanks. Unlike all of you, I'm going on a diet to help increase my muscle mass."

Starfire snorted into her cake but covered it up with a cough. Robin glanced at her, but she gobbled the food, trying not to gag and laugh at the same time.

"So, Raven. I guess you're the last Titan to turn 18," Robin said.

"I guess so," Raven muttered, picking at her sugary cake. "So what?"

"So, Cyborg's 20, Starfire's 19–" he was cut off by Starfire.

"Actually, Robin, this month is my 56,412 birthday."

Robin sighs. "Earth years, Star."

"Oh."

"Anyway, Star's 19-" Robin glared at Starfire- "Beast Boy's turning 19 in June, I'm 18, and now you are too."

"Again, what's the point you're proving here?," said Raven, slightly annoyed now.

"Well, we've been doing this for just under 4 years now."

"Yeah…"

"And now all of us are adults."

Raven saw where he was going with this.

Robin continued. "So, we can't be called the TEEN Titans anymore, cause, you know, we're not teens."

Raven rolled her eyes. This was HER birthday. She didn't want to talk about the team name. She wanted to have fun and open gifts. Then, she thought of something that would shut Robin up. "Well, Robin, 18 ends with a teen and so does 19. So, we're good."

Robin considered this, then pointed out, "What about Cyborg?"

"Yeah, what about me?" Cyborg chimed in, losing his current game of thumb wrestling to Beast Boy while he was distracted. "Come on!"

Raven grunted loudly, so that everyone could hear, and then muttered, "I'm going to my room." She couldn't believe the nerve of Robin. This was HER day. Everything was supposed to me about HER. Raven collapsed on her bed after teleporting into her room and began to sob. Why did she care so much? They were like this all the time. What did she expect them to do? Pay attention to her?

Raven stopped crying and wiped her tears off on her robe. Starfire's new kitten, Demon, was clawing at Raven's door. She opened the door telepathically, letting the cat in.

She was the one who named the kitten. He rolled out all of the toilet paper and hissed at everything. He was also all black, except for a white circle around his left eye. Starfire loved the name Demon, thinking it was English for Gumpleshrump, which roughly means rascal.

Admittedly, Demon seemed to like Raven more than Starfire, but Star didn't care.

Demon climbed Raven's sheets and plopped himself on her pillow. Raven smiled wearily, knowing at least someone loved her. She took off her hot cape and laid down next to the kitten, who started playing with her hair. Raven laughed, tears drying on her face, but picked up Demon and put him next to her, where he immediately laid down, purring and drifting off to sleep. Raven looked at her clock. It was already 8:30. Raven wasn't really tired, but she didn't want to disturb the cat, so she sighed and closed her eyes.


	2. Episode 2: Interest

_Demon climbed Raven's sheets and plopped himself on her pillow. Raven smiled wearily, knowing at least someone loved her. She took off her hot cape and laid down next to the kitten, who started playing with her hair. Raven laughed, tears drying on her face, but picked up Demon and put him next to her, where he immediately laid down, purring and drifting off to sleep. Raven looked at her clock. It was already 8:30. Raven wasn't really tired, but she didn't want to disturb the cat, so she sighed and closed her eyes._

Raven opened her eyes. Demon was nowhere to be seen. Sighing, she looked at her alarm clock. It read 6:30. Grumbling to herself, Raven climbed out of bed and ate cereal before the others could annoy her with their antics. She dropped her spoon while looking out the window at the dark sky. She was watching the sun rise, watching colors mix together as a bright ball rose over Jump City.

"Raven, here's your spoon," Beast Boy said, sneaking behind Raven

"Beast Boy! What is wrong with you?" Raven said, upset that her quiet was interrupted. She took the spoon and threw it in the sink with her magic.

"What's up?" Beast Boy smirked.

"Ugh!" Raven rushed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Beast Boy sighed. He just wanted to talk to Raven. He secretly liked her, and he hoped she liked him back. He grabbed the half eaten bowl of cereal that Raven left of the table and gobbled it down.

Robin had woken up, getting ready to do his morning workout when Raven rushed by him, heading to her room.

"Rave?" Robin called after her. He assumed she was mad, but was used to her mood swings. Humming to himself, he went downstairs to the workout room and started lifting weights.

Raven flew into her room and started crying. She hated Beast Boy. She liked him, but hated everything about him. She was torn. She didn't know whether to hate him or love him. She decided to go back to sleep. It was still early, anyway.

Beast Boy snuck around the corner of the hallway to scare Cyborg and wake him up. He was usually up first, because he didn't need to recharge for that long, unlike the rest of the Titans, who slept.

"Hello, Beast Boy!" Starfire exclaimed as she glides by him.

"Oh, hey, Star. Have you seen Cy this morning?"

"I have not. He is not awake?"

"No."

"That is strange. I'm going to eat now."

"Ok, Starfire," Beast Boy said, now increasingly worried. Why wasn't Cyborg up yet? He hoped he was pranking the Titans, but Beast Boy wanted to make sure. Walking up to Cyborg's door, Beast boy said "Cyborg? You in there?"

There wasn't a response. Beast Boy became worried. "Cy?" Still no response. Beast Boy transformed into a beetle and traveled under Cyborg's locked door. He transformed back, and what he saw in the room made his heart jump into his throat.

 **Hey y'all! Sorry if this episode was bad, it was kinda rushed, but they'll be better in the future. It has come to my attention that because this series is under 'Teen Titans' that the series is based off of Teen Titans. This is more based off of Teen Titans Go! because that's what I grew up with, and there isn't a Teen Titans Go! category.**

 **SHOUTOUT FOR MAY 16: Dragonkyng**

 **Thanks for the follows and reviews! Tune in next week for more content!**


	3. Episode 3: Horror

_There wasn't a response. Beast Boy became worried. "Cy?" Still no response. Beast Boy transformed into a beetle and traveled under Cyborg's locked door. He transformed back, and what he saw in the room made his heart jump into his throat._

Beast Boy, blood rushing out of his face, backed into the door, and miraculously opened it with his shaking hands. Not bothering to close it, he unknowingly transformed into a cheetah and ran down to the garden, where he ran to the bushes and threw up all of Raven's breakfast. He held his head in his paws and cried.

Raven watched a green cheetah sprint across the yard. She knew something was up. Beast Boy hated exercise. She took a portal down to him, and covered her nose with her cloak at the sight of the puke. Beast Boy was now crying hysterically. Raven wanted to help, but wasn't sure how to.

"Beast Boy?"

He jumped at the sound of her voice. "What are you doing?"

"I saw you run outside and I was worried-," Raven cut herself off. She didn't want Beast Boy to know how much she liked her, especially at a time like now. "What happened?"

Beast Boy turned away from her, images flooding his brain. He shuddered and began to sob again. "C-c-cy-y-b-b-b-" is all he managed to get out before he threw up again.

Raven, pretending not to be disgusted, said "Cyborg? Is that it?"

Beast Boy nodded weakly.

Raven didn't want to trouble him anymore, but she had to ask him one more thing. "Why are you a cheetah? You could've changed back when you ran over here."

"Huh?" Beast Boy looked down. He was a cheetah. He wasn't sure why. "Animal instincts, I guess," he muttered, embarrassed that Raven had to see him like this, sick and confused. He changed back into himself and leaned against a tree.

"Should I check on Cyborg or..." Raven said

Beast Boy nodded again, with his head in his hands.

Raven silently backed into a portal that appeared behind her and came out right outside of Cyborg's still open door. What she saw terrified her.

Cyborg's face has been slashed so bad that his human and robotic brains were oozing out onto the floor. His red eye lay broken and sparking at least two feet away from his body. His right arm was ripped clean off, wires and all. His left leg was hanging on by a circuit and was on fire, which was quickly spreading to the rest of his body, which was also stabbed and broken.

Raven understood why Beast Boy was scared. This was worse than any battle wound. This looked like attempted murder.

Raven magicked a fire extinguisher out of midair and starting spraying on Cyborg. With the commotion, Robin, all sweaty, and Starfire, with blueberry stains all over her mouth, came running.

"What- OH MY GOD!!" Robin screamed. "WHAT DO WE DO? HE'S DEAD!"

"Robin. Calm down," Raven said patiently. "We need to be logical about this. You call an ambulance and Starfire, you go comfort Beast Boy. I'll keep an eye on Cyborg. Ok?"

The others nodded silently as they went to their assigned jobs, obedient with fear. Soon enough, an ambulance carefully carried Cyborg away, and Raven cleaned the floor as best as she could. The others went along with Cyborg, but Raven wanted to think.

 _Why would someone do this?_ she thought. _It just doesn't make any sense._

When she was done, she portaled to the hospital and rode the elevator to Cyborg's room, which was occupied by the Titans, but no Cyborg. "Where-" she began to ask.

"He's in surgery," Robin explained. "It's really bad."

"So he's...alive?"

"Barely," squeaked a voice from the corner. Beast Boy still looked sick to his stomach, and his knees were pulled up to his chest. He rocked back and forth on the armchair he was on, clearly exhausted.

"I- oh," Raven stammered. She wasn't sure how to react. She never had to go through this. Demons, and even half-demons like herself, always stayed healthy. She didn't know what it was like to be sick, or for someone she was close to to be sick. She sat on the nearest chair and slept from emotional exhaustion.

Beast Boy was so upset that he didn't bother to have any distinguishable emotions. They all blurred together. His only friend that he was close to, his only friend who knew his secret, his only _best_ friend was now hanging on to life by a thread. He grew up by himself, and was always anti-social, but that completely changed when he met Cyborg. They hit it off right away, and a new side of Beast Boy was unleashed, one even he never knew. He knew it was only a coverup for the real him, but it was a good distraction from the world. Losing his best friend was unimaginable. Beast Boy never knew he had such strong emotions until he was carried into an ambulance, the one next to Cyborg. He felt like a ghost, floating through life, without emotion.

Now, he still felt sick, but that was an afterthought to the darkness that was consuming him. He even got so out of control that he lost control of his powers, which hadn't happened since...since...

Beast Boy shuddered at the thought of _last time_ and hid his face in his knees, wanting the nightmare to be over. He was going to wake up. Soon.

 **Hey y'all! I hope you enjoyed this episode. Feel free to leave questions for me! I'll try to answer them as best I can! I won't reveal any personal information though. ;)**

 **SHOUTOUT FOR MAY 16: Dragonkyng**

 **Thanks for the reviews and follows! Tune in next week for more content!**


	4. Episode 4: Backstory

**This episode is mostly a backstory episode, which may be boring, but is crucial to the story. I should also make note that even though this is based off Teen Titans and Teen Titans Go!, there might be some sections that don't line up with the plot of the shows. Names and stuff will remain the same, but other parts may be altered slightly. If you have a problem with this, I'm sorry. I do not own these characters but I created this storyline, so I feel that this is fine. If there is a copyright problem that I can't find in this, let's blame it on the fact that I haven't watched every single Teen Titans (Go) episode ever, therefore explaining my ignorance. If you have suggestions on how to change the story so that it fits the original plot, or addressing the copyright issue (if there even is one) by all means, share them with me.**

 _Now, he still felt sick, but that was an afterthought to the darkness that was consuming him. He even got so out of control that he lost control of his powers, which hadn't happened since...since..._

 _Beast Boy shuddered at the thought of last time and hid his face in his knees, wanting the nightmare to be over. He was going to wake up. Soon._

B.B.'s POV

(5th grade)

Dear Diary,

Kids are cruel. Kids always will be cruel. I am a living example of this.

When I was little, or smaller than I am now, like in preschool, my classmates were always so impressionable that they accepted my greenness. So much, in fact, that I didn't think anything was different about me. Except the fact that I could turn into animals at will. When I was seven, everything was explained to me. My powers and how that would affect me. I was also told to never show that I had powers in public.

I was living with a very informed foster family after my family...dissipated. They knew the world would treat me harshly. So, they told me I needed to control my emotions. They explained that my emotions controlled my powers, even thought that was hard to comprehend as a first grader. They taught me, throughout the years, how to control my emotions. Eventually, it became so easy that I forgot I was doing it. Frequently.

Of course, everything changes when you get older. Kids ask questions, and when they don't get answers, they make sure they get answers, no matter what it takes. Three kids started asking me questions about my complexion. I was told to keep my mouth shut, so I did. My friend, Tom, was by my side the whole time. He didn't know any more that the inquisitive group of boys knew; even my close friend couldn't know. He was always there, always a crutch, and through his obvious ignorance he stood by me, though he knew nothing about the real me. We were both awkward and introverts, so we were perfect together.

Soon, questioning became nagging, which became teasing, which became bullying. Every free second these three boys got, they were pinching me, calling me names, and even started pushing me.

One day at recess, the boys were racing towards me. I was walking and didn't stop. At this point, as I had gotten older, my emotions became harder and harder to control. I knew I had to focus on keeping them under control, but the kids pushing me and kicking my heels distracted me. I walked faster, but so did the kids behind me. I was reaching my boiling point. Tom was beside me, but had no idea the struggle I was fighting inside. At one point, Tom turned around and said, "Leave him alone! He didn't do anything to you!" (Tom was the best.) To which the group chuckled and closed in on me and Tom. I could feel my face getting hot, my hands clenched in fists. I was confused, and mad, and annoyed. I wanted to be left alone.

I knew I was stronger than any of those boys were. I was stronger than any person in the entire school. I could easily beat these kids up. I had never experimented with my powers, because of warnings from my parents.

I was so emotionally unstable. I could feel my veins pumping with adrenaline, fueled by anger. I stopped walking. The group of boys, confused, stopped for a split second, which was all I needed. I turned around and punched the leader in the face, without thinking.

Blood poured from his left cheek as the force of the punch knocked him backwards and on his butt. I snarled at the boys, ignoring the silence around me. I knew I was in trouble, but he deserved it.

"Ow..." The boy's hand reached up to his wound, and was startled when he saw blood. "What?" The other boys were staring at me, frozen. I was satisfied that I had scared them. Now they knew what it was like to be bullied. I took a step toward the boys, and they backed away. I looked at Tom, smiling, but he was pale and was shaking. Everywhere I looked, people were staring, and some were even backing away. I was confused. Why was Tom afraid of me?

A teacher was called over and the boy on the ground looked at her. Then I saw his wound. Three giant slashes, about four inches in length. I suddenly realized why everyone around me was staring.

"Oh my god," the teacher whispered. "Everyone get up. It's going to be okay. Walk towards me slowly," she said, obviously terrified herself. "Listen to me Richard. There's some type of radioactive tiger on the field. Yes, a tiger. No, I'm not crazy!," she said into her walkie-talkie.

I looked down at myself. I was unconsciously on all fours, snarling at children, and, well, a bright green tiger. A wave of realization swept over me as I acknowledged the sheer strength of my powers. I backed away, thoughts rushing through my head so fast I couldn't keep track. I was dizzy, lightheaded, and felt a slight pop as I changed back into myself; this time, on purpose. Nearly the entire grade gasped or screamed, and the overwhelming feeling that it gave me made me faint.

I groggily opened my eyes and recognized the nurses office bed immediately. "He was himself, and-and then he was a tiger and now he's Garfield again!" I heard Tom's voice waver with anxiety. His words flooded my brain again, and feelings and thoughts exploded into my mind.

Suddenly, I was having a battle with my mind. I didn't know what to do. Cry or shout or run... I felt crushed. My body was mirroring my mind, as I leaned over and threw up on the floor.

"Oh, my goodness!" the nurse exclaimed. She suddenly noticed that I was awake. "Garfield, are you all right?"

I couldn't answer through the tears that were streaming down my face. There weren't words to describe this feeling. I was empty, but felt every emotion at once. Crying seemed to be the easy way out.

"Garfield-your parents are here to pick you up, okay honey?" I nodded, hiccuping as I forced myself to stop crying. My foster parents hated seeing me cry. I wiped my tears on my sleeve, and wiped my mouth with a wet washcloth that the nurse handed to me. I shuddered and took a deep breath, knowing that this changed everything.

My foster parents explained that I had lost control of my powers because of my emotions and I wasn't aware that I had changed into a tiger. They also decided that they couldn't take care of such an animal anymore, so I was sent back to an orphanage. The head of the orphanage made me spend all of my time in a room by myself, where I taught myself how to control my emotions. I would test my new control on curious children who came knocking on my door. Soon, just as before, controlling my emotions was almost as easy as breathing. It was harder, especially with puberty, but when I turned 13 I decided I was ready to leave. I ran away many times from that orphanage, but I kept being brought back. The 43rd time I ran away, they let me run. Less resources to use for them. By now, I was fourteen, and decided to go to California.

When I finally arrived, I didn't know where to go. I wandered around, and decided that I would become a superhero with my powers. I went under the nickname 'Beast Boy' to hide my true identity.

Before long, I found Richard, who was formerly Boy Wonder. He was creating a superhero team... and I think you know the rest.

With love,

Garfield 'Beast Boy' Logan


	5. Episode 5: Mission

**Hey, guys! Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or Teen Titans. Credit goes to Cartoon Network.**

 _When I finally arrived, I didn't know where to go. I wandered around, and decided that I would become a superhero with my powers. I went under the nickname 'Beast Boy' to hide my true identity._

 _Before long, I found Richard, who was formerly Boy Wonder. He was creating a superhero team... and I think you know the rest._

 _With love,_

 _Garfield 'Beast Boy' Logan_

The room was eerily quiet for about half an hour. Nobody knew how to react. Suddenly, the door opened. Robin jumped up.

"Dr. Goldberg!" He was their usual intensive care unit doctor. He had been with the Titans ever since their first fight. He knew more about each Titan than they knew about each other. He was like family.

"Hey guys. You're going to have to leave soon. We have to get the machinery ready for Victor. Lisa is coming in tomorrow morning. We did as much as we could to his remaining human brain, and we're hoping Lisa will take care of the rest." Lisa was Cyborg's mechanic. She worked on the damaged parts of Cyborg when he was in the ICU, which happened more often than you would think.

"Oh. Right. Yeah, ok. Any source for the wounds?" Robin said, gesturing to Starfire to round the Titans up.

"It did seem intentional. There was no evidence that this was self-inflicted or an accident. Was there anything at the tower?"

"We haven't really checked. We've been here. Raven is the one that stayed at the tower when the ambulances took him away. You should talk to her," Robin explained. He pointed at a groggy Raven, just woken up from her nap by Starfire. "Huh?" she muttered.

"Raven, was there any evidence of attack around Cyborg?" Dr. Goldberg asked gently.

"No." Raven rubbed her eyes, yawned, and floated gracefully from her chair. "Just blood and fire."

Dr. Goldberg sighed. "You might want to get authorities involved with this. This seems pretty serious."

Starfire held a limp Beast Boy over her shoulder. "Ready, Robin!"

"Star, put him down please," Robin said, exasperated.

"But he does not want to walk."

"It's fine Star. I'll fly home," Beast Boy said, almost inaudibly. He flew out of the window that Raven quickly opened.

"Well, let us know when we can visit. Let's go," Raven said to Dr. Goldberg.

"I will. Be safe, okay?"

"Yes, sir." Raven muttered her mantra and a portal opened. Robin and Starfire went through, followed by Raven who closed the portal once she was through. They came out in the living room, where Demon climbed up Raven's cloak. Beast Boy was nowhere to be seen.

"I'm gonna check out the cameras and see if anything happened there," Robin said, backing out of the room.

"I will check Cyborg's room for any clues." Starfire flew out of the room, leaving Raven to herself.

Raven was beginning to feel unstable and confused. She knew something was up with her emotions. She went into her room after putting Demon down and cleared her mind. She rose off the floor in lotus position, and she was flown into her mind.

Since the Titans defeated Trigon a year ago, Raven voluntarily let her emotions run free. Controlled, of course, but she no longer needed to hide them. She was still extremely cautious, but she was noticably more free. Raven didn't meditate as much anymore, maybe once a week, or when she felt something was wrong, like now.

Raven floated into Nevermore, where Timid was creating a scene. She was crying on the floor, with Passion and Happiness trying to console her.

"They're gonna hate me! They're coming for me, the murderer! What's happening to us?"

Passion looked up and flew over to Raven. "You might want to check on Beast Boy. He's not doing so well. Maybe we can cheer him up-" She was cut off by Intelligence, who rushed to Raven and pushed Passion out of the way.

"Listen. She's right. Something is wrong with Beast Boy. He's not himself. Keep an eye on him. We want to keep him safe."

"I missed you the most," Raven said, chuckling.

"Thanks. But seriously. Timid is freaking out. Brave wants to kill this murderer. Frankly, I also hope that we figure this out. I'll be in charge for the rest of this mystery. Ok?"

"Please. Is this why I've been feeling... crappy?"

"Because Beast Boy's upset. It has nothing to do with the murderer. Which isn't likely at all. Anyway," -she leaned in closer- "keep an eye on him. It would be awful if we lost him. Get a reading on his feelings. I'll analyze them and get your attention when I have an answer."

"Alright. Make sure Timid doesn't corrupt me."

"We'll try," Happiness shouted toward Raven over Timid's crying.

"Please hurry. Passion will kill us if anything happens to Beast Boy."

"I will!" Passion called.

"Calm down. Timid is getting to you. Watch over everyone, okay?"

"Yes. I will," Intelligence said, embarrassed over her sudden change in mood.

"I have to go. You know time's passed in the real world."

"Yes. Go. And hurry. Passion isn't so lovable when she's mad."

Raven floated up, having a new mission. She opened her eyes and she was back in her room. She glanced at the clock as she came out of her lotus position. Only an hour had passed. She sighed and sat down at her desk. If she was going to watch Beast Boy, she had better do it well.

Her spellbook flew toward her with black energy surrounding it. Raven opened it and found the spell she was looking for. She took a deep breath and chanted her mantra. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"

At this, a small portal-type orb appeared, floating on her desk. She looked at it and said "Show me Beast Boy." The orb swirled with purple smoke, and it showed Beast Boy. He was in his room, crying under his covers as a tiny kitten. "He's lost control," Raven realized out loud. She knew that every superhero had emotions, and that they could get in the way of their work. She was very experienced with this, having Trigon use her in many ways. She assumed that Beast Boy was losing control of his powers and was changing into animals unwillingly based on his mood. She stood up and the orb disappeared. She needed to read Beast Boy's feelings, and the only way for her to do that was to get relatively close to him.

She left the room and walked down the hall to Beast Boy's room. She knocked on the door. "Beast Boy? Can I come in?" She only heard faint sobs. She could feel his pain, but he wasn't close enough to him to get a clear reading of his emotions. She created a portal and traveled through his locked door. "I don't mean to barge in, but-" She gasped at the horror that she felt. Being an empath, she had no choice but to sense other's emotions, and Beast Boy's emotions were everywhere. She couldn't distinguish his feelings. She knew she needed them, so she decided to use a little spell to make his feelings clear.

"Go away Raven." Beast Boy was upset, but he wasn't stupid. She was going to try to help him. He didn't want help. He wanted Cyborg.

"I just-"

"I told you to LEAVE ME ALONE!" Beast Boy was now a giant gorilla, towering over Raven. Raven was terrified, but she kept calm. She could feel the hurt radiating off of him. He was close enough to her now. She looked into his eyes and muttered her mantra. She was overwhelmed by hurt and despair, so much so that she gasped and took a few steps back. She had never read Beast Boy, but now she knew more than she wanted to.

"Beast Boy. What is that?"

"What?" He was still mad.

"Your emotions... they're..."

"What?" Beast Boy exploded. "WHY DID YOU READ ME WITHOUT MY PERMISSION?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay—"

"I'm not, Raven. Go away." With this, he turned back into himself and walked out of the room, leaving Raven speechless. What she had seen- it was so unexpected. She never knew that he- she took a deep breath and flew to the roof. She needed to think things through.

 **Thank you guys for reading this episode! Check my profile for my upcoming upload date! Please rate and review! See you next episode!**


	6. Episode 6: Mystery

**Hey, guys! Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or Teen Titans. Credit goes to Cartoon Network.**

 _"I'm not, Raven. Go away." With this, he turned back into himself and walked out of the room, leaving Raven speechless. What she had seen- it was so unexpected. She never knew that he- she took a deep breath and flew to the roof. She needed to think things through._

As Raven stared at the now setting sun, she pondered the Cyborg situation. The blues and purples and pinks mixed together into a beautiful gradient. Raven wondered as the soothing colors seeped into her mind, calming her. She forced herself to get back on task. She didn't want to address Beast Boy just yet.

 _Who would have done this? Who wants to destroy the Titans so badly that they would try to murder one?_ Raven couldn't seem to answer this. Not the HIVE. Not Kitten. Dr. Light? Maybe, but he was in high security jail, and the Titans would have been alerted if he had escaped. Just then, Raven had a thought. There was someone who knew Beast Boy enough to know all of his secrets but also hated the Titans...

"Terra." It was a stretch. Why would she try and kill Cyborg and not Beast Boy? She definitely hated Beast Boy more than Cyborg. But, the more she thought about it, the more it seemed to make sense.

It was almost dinner time. Robin volunteered to make dinner. Raven decided to ask him if he found anything on the security tape after they ate.

Beast Boy punched the punching bag so hard that it fell over. He was a gorilla again, panting and sweating from working out for 2 hours on end. He was in so much pain, partly physically, but mostly mentally. He was done with Raven. She didn't understand. She should have asked to read him. He would have said no. There was a reason he didn't want her to read him. His mind was messed up. Dark thoughts roamed around. He was falling into an abyss of his own thoughts. He was trapped in a tiny bubble, feelings swirling around him in his brain. He couldn't escape.

Nobody could know about the severity of his mental illnesses. He wouldn't tell anyone except Cyborg. Cyborg helped bring out the fun side of Beast Boy, the one he never knew he had. It was fake. All of it was fake.

He picked the punching bag up and roundhouse kicked it before punching it again. It didn't fall over. Beast Boy was angry. The easiest way to cope was to exercise. He punched the bag one last time before collapsing on the ground from exhaustion. He was nauseous and dizzy. He wiped away sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. His hand felt strange and torn up. When he looked at it, his knuckles were ripped up and bleeding. His shins were starting to bruise. Beasts Boy got up and snuck to the stairs. _You don't deserve to take the elevator, fatass,_ his brain told him. _Walk and get the exercise._ So, Beast Boy walked up 5 flights of stairs to his room. It would be easier to obey than to fight. He took his sweaty clothes off and showered. He put sweats on and went into bed, mind racing but empty at the same time. He stared at his ceiling, discarding all self-respect.

Raven was anxious to eat dinner. She wanted to find that 'murderer'. She wanted this whole thing to be over, though it had just started.

"Dinner's ready, guys. Spaghetti. Come get it while it's hot," Robin sent over his communicator. Raven rushed toward the kitchen, but then was reminded of Beast Boy. She turned around, passing Starfire.

"Raven! Dinner!"

"Getting Beast Boy!"

"Ok!"

Raven knocked on his door. "Beast Boy."

"Go away, Raven."

"It's dinner time."

"Not hungry." This wasn't a lie. Beast Boy was strangely not hungry. He usually ate the most out of the Titans, but he didn't _feel_ hungry now. He didn't want to talk to Raven, either.

Raven could feel him fighting a silent battle with himself. She could feel it as soon as she turned the corner to his room. But, Raven knew it was no use to argue with him, so she teleported to the kitchen and gobbled down her food.

"Slow down, Raven. Hungry?" Robin asked, astonished. Raven didn't usually eat much.

"I- I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh. Okay."

Starfire somehow got the hint and left with the rest of her dinner to the living room.

"Don't make a mess, Star!" Robin called after her. "Ok. What is it?"

"I wanted to know if you saw anything on the security cameras," Raven said.

"Oh. Well, I lost my ID card, so I couldn't check. Do you have yours?"

"Yeah... that's strange. You don't ever lose anything."

"Yeah. Are you going to check? Because I'll come with you..." Robin looked nervous. He wasn't afraid of Raven, she just never did this. Talking to him, that is.

"Oh. I'd rather go on my own, if you don't mind." Raven teleported to the second floor. Robin sighed and began to clean up after himself and Raven.

Raven had put a spell on the surveillance room years ago to prevent anyone from teleporting into it, so she teleported right outside of it. She pulled her card out of thin air and swiped it. She scanned her hand and the door dinged and opened.

Raven flew to Cyborg's camera. For privacy, the Titans didn't have cameras IN their rooms, but they all had one right outside for this reason.

She pressed a few buttons, and she was looking outside of Cyborg's room the day prior. He was just going to bed after tinkering. Raven turned up the sound. It sounded like his room. Strange beeping, whirring, and a faint clanking. She knew that was him preparing to recharge.

She sped up the tape, waiting to see if anyone was coming. She saw Robin pass, then Beast Boy. She knew Starfire had went to bed early. Then, she saw a black shadow dart into Cyborg's room. Raven inhaled sharply and rewound the tape. She slowed it down back to normal speed. The shadow was silent and fast. She heard Cyborg cry out, then silence. A few sounds were made, but were easily covered by the sound of Cyborg's softly whirring machines. Raven could only assume that this figure was destroying Cyborg now.

Raven watched in horror as the figure left the room. The amazing thing about the cameras in the tower was that they were invisible, again thanks to Raven's spell. This way, robbers don't notice them. Luckily for the Titans, nobody even dared to enter the tower out of fear of being beat up.

Raven had another thought. The Titans would have woken up to an intruder alarm if the front door was opened without a card. Raven wondered how this was possible. This wasn't any of the Titans. She quickly checked the other cameras. They had all gone to bed and weren't disturbed by this figure.

Raven wanted to make sure it was Terra. They couldn't go to the police without any evidence. The press would explode. She closely analyzed the recording, and saw that the figure was wearing all black, including a mask. But as they turned to leave, their hair peeked out of their hood. Raven paused the video. She leaned in close to the screen, staring at the apparent hair. There were only three pixels of it, but it was clear. It was bright blonde.

 **Thank you guys for reading this episode! Check my profile for my upcoming upload date! Please rate and review! See you next episode!**


	7. Episode 7: Questions

**Hey, guys! Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or Teen Titans. Credit goes to Cartoon Network**

 **Trigger warning: there is very mature subject matter in this episode related to depression. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!**

 _Raven wanted to make sure it was Terra. They couldn't go to the police without any evidence. The press would explode. She closely analyzed the recording, and saw that the figure was wearing all black, including a mask. But as they turned to leave, sharp knife and rubber glove in hand, their hair peeked out of their hood. Raven paused the video. She leaned in close to the screen, staring at the apparent hair. There were only three pixels of it, but it was clear. It was bright blonde._

"Robin!" Raven called. She had a copy of the tape on a CD. "I found it!"

"Jesus, Raven. I'm washing the dishes," Robin said, exasperated. He wiped his hands on a towel and went into the living room, where Raven was already putting the CD into the monitor on the floor. Soon, the video was projected onto the giant screen on the wall. Raven skipped ahead to when the robber came in.

Starfire was reading a teen magazine upside down, but when she saw what Raven was up to, she put it down and sat up, legs criss-crossed. "What is it, friend Raven?"

"A lead."

"A lead? Lead in what?"

"Who hurt Cyborg."

Starfire leaned forward, excited and antsy. "Ok, Raven. What is it?" Robin said, sitting down in between the girls.

"Look." Raven played the tape. The shadow, quiet as ever, came into frame and snuck into Cyborg's room.

"What the hell?..." Robin muttered. "How did it get in?"

"I'm not sure. I didn't check the cameras downstairs."

Robin give an audible sigh. Raven knew he was upset. If anything could be investigated more thoroughly, he was going to make sure it was.

His eyes stared at the screen. "Where's the audio?"

"It's there. It's just extremely quiet."

Just then, Cyborg cried out. Starfire and Robin winced, upset to see- or rather hear- their friend in pain.

"That's all the audio. She was stealthy."

"She?" Robin paused the tape. "What do you mean?"

"Think about it. Who knows Beast Boy enough that they know their way around the tower, but also hates him enough that they would hurt him in this way?" She wanted to hint at Terra, but also didn't want the others to know about Beast Boy. She wasn't even sure about her assumptions yet. She had to meditate tonight and see what was going on in Nevermore.

"Terra." Starfire suddenly spoke. "But, Raven, did we not lock her in the city prison?"

"She's clever. She's escaped before. She could do it again."

"Raven." Robin turned towards her. "How can you be so sure? Anybody who does enough research on us and the Tower could know this much."

"Watch." Raven sped up the tape, just up to when the figure was leaving. She paused the video at just the right time, and used the advanced remote to zoom in on the figure's head. "Look."

She could feel Robin's exasperation taking over, and soon she could tell he was trying not to strangle her. "There's nothing there, Raven. Just blackness. »

"Look closer." Raven zoomed in even closer; now the hair was evident. "Blonde."

"Lots of people have blonde hair. What about Kitten?" Raven felt Robin's doubt into determination. For what, she wasn't sure.

"What motive would she have? And honestly, she's not all that bright."

Robin sighed. Raven HAD made some good points. "Investigate further. Check all of the downstairs cameras. We need to figure this out."

"Yes, Robin." Raven melted through the floor, ending up in the surveillance room again. She turned on the downstairs camera monitors, and checked for anything suspicious. The cameras had night vision, but it had trouble finding anything, as the robber came in wearing all black. Raven sighed. This was going to be harder than she thought.

Beast Boy was still in his room, fighting with himself mentally. He wanted to get up, but his mind told him to stay down. Beast Boy fought, and won, but was still overwhelmed by his emotions. He staggered downstairs, again not taking the elevator, and took a plastic pencil sharpener from the office. The changeling walked back upstairs, dragging his feet the whole time.

Once in his room, Beast Boy opened the sharpener. He used a sharp fingernail to unscrew the sharp razor blade, and took it out, admiring it.

Beast Boy was screaming in his mind. He couldn't escape this bubble. All of his thoughts swirled around him, overwhelming him, and he knew what he was about to do. He didn't want to do this; his thoughts told him otherwise. _You want relief? You'll get relief._

Beast Boy rolled up his sleeve and brought the blade to his left wrist, breathing heavily. He rotated it so that the sharp edge was grazing against his skin. His mind got the best of him, and before he knew it, he was calm. He breathed deeply and studied the five cuts he inflicted on himself. A weight was lifted off of his shoulders. Finally at peace, he fell fast asleep.

Beast Boy, trapped in his own head, cried at the sight of the blood on the blade. He was too far in his depression to fight his way out. He collapsed in his shrinking bubble and let his mind take control of his body.

 **Thank you guys for reading this episode! Check my profile for my upcoming upload date! Please rate and review! See you next episode!**


	8. Episode 8: Answers?

_Beast Boy, trapped in his own head, cried at the sight of the blood on the blade. He was too far in his depression to fight his way out. He collapsed in his shrinking bubble and let his mind take control of his body._

Raven's POV

My mind started to get foggy. I couldn't concentrate on the tiny pixels of the computer. They all blurred together. I sighed and leaned back in my chair. I was tired and irritable. I just wanted to sleep.

I got the information about Beast Boy to Intelligence, but who knows what she was doing or how long it would take. I shut down the computer and looked at the clock. It read 12:38. I sunk into the floor and ended up in my bed. My powers were extremely helpful when I was lazy. I quickly changed into underwear and an old t-shirt and fell asleep.

TTT

"Really? Wow. Okay, thanks." Robin hung up the phone as Starfire floated into the kitchen.

"What was that for?" she asked, grabbing a few pancakes.

"It was Dr. Goldberg. Lisa was able to restore his body and memory, but his human side is still being monitored. We can visit him today."

TTT

Raven woke up, feeling no better than she did the night before. She took a brisk shower, put on sweats, and started to leave her room when she fell to the floor and cried. A heavy, invisible burden was pulling her down, one she hadn't felt in over two years. Raven felt the pain from Beast Boy's room from across the hallway, so much so that it affected her. She stood up, amazed in horror at her reaction. This had never happened before. She always felt others' emotions unintentionally, but they never affected her state of mind or being. She wiped her tears from her face and rushed downstairs, not wanting to cry anymore.

Raven flew into the kitchen, ramming into Starfire. "Ow! Are you okay?" she said, suddenly noticing the tears on her best friend's face.

"I'm fine Star. I just... Beast Boy is in pain, and... well... I was pretty badly affected for some reason." She sat down across from the two other Titans.

"We can visit Cyborg today. Maybe that will cheer him up," Robin said, handing Raven a cup of herbal tea.

"That was really strong. I don't know if even a visit will calm him down." Raven stirred her tea.

Robin looked at the nutrition facts on his cereal. "16 grams of sugar for a one cup serving... that mean that 2/3 of a cup has... uh..."

"10 2/3 grams of sugar," Raven muttered, taking a sip of her tea.

The Titans looked at her quizzically. "What?"

Raven looked up. "It's simple math. You just take 2/3 of 16, which is 10 2/3. But honestly, if you're going on a diet, I'd have a smoothie. That's still quite a bit of sugar. The recommended daily sugar intake for the average male is 37.5 grams, or 9 teaspoons, according to the American Heart Association." Raven realized what was coming out of her mouth and assumed Intelligence was trying to get her attention. "I'll go meditate."

"Good idea," Robin said. He stood up and grabbed some strawberries from the refrigerator. Raven teleported to the roof, leaving her tea nearly untouched.

She shivered at the chilliness of the morning. A soft fog covered the still-sleeping city. Raven sat in a lotus position, took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and chanted her mantra. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos. Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos. Azarath-" She felt a rush, and opened her eyes to find herself in Nevermore.

"Where the hell is Intelligence?" Raven called out. Timid was no longer being comforted, but she was still hiding in a ball. Passion and Happiness were sparring Brave, and Anger— Raven didn't want to know.

"Um, I think she's over there," Lazy said, lounging on a transparent couch. She pointed towards the left, and Raven quickly thanked her and rushed off. She soon found a makeshift laboratory, and walked inside.

"I've been waiting for you," Intelligence said. She was sitting on a chair, sipping tea.

"What did you figure out about Beast Boy?" Raven sat on a chair across from the yellow-robed sorceress.

"I did extensive research on his behavior and he, well..."

"Spit it out."

"He's got extreme depression and anxiety..." Intelligence muttered. "And though it does relate to the Cyborg situation, it looks chronic. Like he's had it for a while, if not forever."

"Jesus," Raven muttered. She had a big hunch that he had some mental stability issues, but never as far as severe mental illness.

"Should we get Robin?" Intelligence suggested, knowing Raven's past.

"Not yet. What's his distraction? From the pain, I mean."

"Well, by the way you reacted earlier, I'd say some form of physical pain, most likely cutting."

"Shit," Raven mumbled. She knew why Intelligence wanted Robin. She herself had gone through a rough patch, when she arrived on Earth. She was an obvious outcast who was controlled by her father. She fought against herself everyday, even to do things as simple as getting out of bed. She resorted to slitting her wrists to relieve the pain. Her healing powers automatically attacked the cuts, making hiding them easy. She was forced to do it. She was stuck. Until Robin noticed that something was wrong. He figured out her serious problem, and forced her to get help. He would monitor her 24/7, making sure she took her medicine, keeping up with therapy appointments. She eventually got better and stronger, and soon, she stopped the meds and therapy all together. It took nearly 2 years of intensive mental care, but she was back and stronger than ever. Strong enough to defeat her father. All thanks to Robin.

"I'm assuming that's why you had such a strong reaction."

"Because I had gone through it before."

"Exactly."

Raven took a shaky breath. "I don't know what to do."

"Robin can help again."

"No. He helped me, so now I want to help Beast Boy."

"Should I focus on Beast Boy or Terra?"

Raven was taken aback. "T-terra? It is her?"

"Um, duh. She escaped from prison three nights ago."

"How-"

"It was on the newspaper on the kitchen table. Honestly, sometimes I wish I was your only emotion."

"Me too. Look, I've got to get back. I'll check up on you tomorrow. Don't want to look suspicious coming here too often."

"Fair enough. See you then."

TTT

"Robin!" Raven rushed into the living room, where Robin and Starfire were cuddling. She winced at the sight. They had started dating about two months ago, but forgot about them during all of the drama.

"What? Did you check the tapes?"

"Did you check the newspaper?" Raven surrounded the newspaper in the kitchen with her magic and it teleported into his hands.

"Whoa." Terra was front-page news. Robin sat up quickly and stood up. He started pacing, a habit he had when he was focusing or nervous. Raven floated next to Starfire and sat down on the couch. "It says she escaped three days ago..."

"Which means that she could have hurt friend Cyborg." Starfire chimed in.

"With a day to spare..." Robin was lost in thought. "We need to get her into Interrogation now."

"She's still on the run. We would have been alerted if she was caught."

"But we weren't alerted when she escaped."

"Damn it she's good." Raven started to think.

"She works for Slade. Of course she's good."

Almost as if on cue, the crime alert went off. "We'll have to leave this until we get back."

"It's Gizmo." Robin said, staring at the screen. "Should we get-"

"I would leave him," Raven said quickly, as they rushed to the T-car. "Cyborg's gonna kill us," she muttered.

About an hour later, the small team of three had destroyed Gizmo's latest robot army. Luckily, it started to rain, short-circuiting the robots. Gizmo was electrocuted, and had passed out while the police took him to the hospital before organizing a clean-up. The Titans, tired and wet, drove back to the tower; flying would be too dangerous in this weather.

Robin was locking up the car and garage as the girls floated into the Tower. All of a sudden, Raven gasped and fell on the floor, crying. "Raven!" Starfire kneeled down next to her. "What happened?"

Raven was crying too hard to talk. She screamed as she lost control of her emotions, shattering the glass door and the light fixtures, causing Starfire to duck. Raven knew this was because of Beast Boy. He did something. She was so depressed all of a sudden. Nothing mattered. But she had to fight it. She needed to try.

She pushed. It took all of her strength not to blow up the tower. Happiness was fighting a losing battle in her mind. Raven wasn't aware of Starfire screaming her name, or shaking her. All of a sudden, Raven felt fine, but the sheer toll the two-minute mental battle had on her body made her fall into Starfire, shuddering, and fell asleep almost instantly.

 **Hey guys! I hope you liked this episode! Please review! My upload dates are always posted on my profile. Have a wonderful day! :)**


	9. Episode 9: Alone (06-28 13:30:28)

**I know that everyone on this sight calls Raven's emotions slightly different names, like how some people call it Anger and others call it Rage. There are two emotions, Wisdom and Knowledge that I've merged in a way to create Intelligence. I know for a fact I'm not the first person to do this, but just wanted to make that clear. Honestly, I've always found that having two emotions that essentially do the same thing is redundant and useless. Wisdom and Knowledge go hand in hand. All of Raven's other emotions are easily distinguishable, but Wisdom and Knowledge get confusing after a while and me personally hates that. So they're Intelligence. And now I'm ranting. God bless whoever is still reading this.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. All character credit goes to Cartoon Network**

 _She pushed. It took all of her strength not to blow up the tower. Happiness was fighting a losing battle in her mind. Raven wasn't aware of Starfire screaming her name, or shaking her. All of a sudden, Raven felt fine, but the sheer toll the two-minute mental battle had on her body made her fall into Starfire, shuddering, and fell asleep almost instantly._

Robin ran into the common room, where glass was everywhere. Raven was lying down on the couch, asleep, while Starfire sweeped up the glass, shaking.

"Starfire?" She flew into Robin and started sobbing. Robin carried her to the opposite side of the couch that Raven was on, and sat her down. "Star?" He asked gently.

"She fell and cried and something most terrible happened!" Starfire squeaked out, before burying her face in her hands.

"I can see that," Robin said, gesturing to the glass on the floor. "Did she get hurt?"

"She obtained many small scratches, but it seems she is healing herself."

Robin sighed and kneeled next to Raven, trying to gently wake her. She stirred, but didn't wake. He picked her up, bridal style, but then put her back down. "I can't do this." he muttered.

"What?" Starfire looked up from her hands.

"I was going to bring her to her room, but I'm not allowed in. I don't even know the code to her room."

"I'll do it." Starfire picked up Raven and flew toward her room. She punched in the code and laid Raven down on her bed. She started to close the door, but Demon snuck in, jumping on Raven. "Careful, sweet kitten," Starfire whispered. She locked the door behind her.

TTT

Raven's POV

TTT

I woke up to a bright light shining in my eyes. I grumbled and closed my drapes with a small burst of black energy. All I wanted to do was to go back to sleep, but a glance at my alarm clock, which read 11:37, forced me to do otherwise. I quickly sat up, scaring Demon, who I didn't even see. He hissed and ran toward the door, which I opened with a wave of my hand.

I was still in my costume from the day before, so I phased out of it and threw it in the hamper. I grabbed my robe and went into my shower. Thank god Cyborg finally got around to adding bathrooms to each Titan's room.

Cyborg! I gasped. How could I forget about Cyborg? Memories flood my still-half-asleep mind. Crap. I had another meltdown last night. I shuddered despite the warm water. I could practically hear Intelligence screaming at me to talk to Beast Boy. I knew she was right.

Sighing, I stepped out of the shower and blow-dried my hair. I had started growing it out since my father's defeat. I wanted to do something rebellious, and letting my hair grow out seemed safe enough but also rebellious. Maybe.

I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and put on jeans and a long-sleeved striped shirt. I quickly teleported downstairs; I was surprisingly hungry. Luckily, Starfire wasn't cooking. Robin had made pancakes, two of which I took from the growing stack on the counter.

"Hey, Raven. You feeling better?" Robin asked tentatively. I could sensethat he worried. Starfire wasn't making eye contact with me.

"Yeah. I'm fine. It was nothing." I winced as the words came out of my mouth. He was going to be suspicious. As expected, he shot me a look, but I shot one back, and he dropped the topic.

"So. What are we doing today?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"We were going to see Cyborg, seeing as we didn't get a chance to yesterday..." Robin said, sitting at the table. I poured syrup on my pancakes and started eating. "He doesn't seem so well. Maybe we should check on him."

"Who?" I said, mouth full of food. Embarrassed, I wiped my mouth.

"Both of them." Robin said quietly. "Cyborg really isn't in the right place at the moment, and Beast Boy... I haven't seen him since we came home from the hospital. Is he still in his room?"

"Yeah. I was going to talk to him. Alone," I added, as Robin began to open his mouth.

"I say we leave around two."

"Sounds good." I finished my food and put my plate in the sink. I began to leave, but sensed Starfire's uneasiness. "Star, wanna talk? In my room?"

Starfire glanced up at me. She looked worried and she wasn't eating her breakfast. "Okay." She stood up and floated next to me as we went to my room in silence. I unlocked the door with a quick palm scan, and Starfire flew in, landing on my bed. I followed.

"Starfire-" before I could get a word in, she started hugging me in her signature bone- crushing hug. I could feel my shirt getting damp where her face was. She was scared. I could feel that. She was nervous and terrified.

"Look at me." Starfire stopped hugging me and wiped her eyes. She stared at her hands. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I am scared for you, Raven. You were acting quite peculiar and unusual."

I sighed. "Star, it was a one-time thing. It won't happen again." _Hopefully,_ I added mentally.

"But what did happen?" Starfire was looking at me now, her nose red and running.

"I just- I was upset about Cyborg all of a sudden."

That seemed to satisfy her. She started to calm down. "Raven?"

"Yes, Starfire?"

"Please be careful. You are like a sister to me. A sister I was never able to have."

I smiled sympathetically and hugged the alien princess. We had all been through a lot. We were a family. I understood her. If I lost any of the Titans- I shook the thought from my mind. We were fine. We were okay. I took a deep, shaky breath, and let go of Starfire. "I'm going to go talk to Beast Boy, okay?"

She nodded. I sensed Robin coming down the hallway, and said, "Robin's outside, Starfire. He'll hang out with you." She nodded again and left, leaving the door open. I sighed. Well, it was now or never. I stood up, walked through the door, locked it, and went across the hallway to Beast Boy's room. I raised my hand to his door, mentally prepared myself, and knocked three times.

TTT

Beast Boy's POV

TTT

The only indication of time is the daylight outside of my window. Minutes turn into hours which turn into days. Nothing seems to matter. I'm lost inside the sinkhole in my mind.

The dried blood on my wrist draws me back to reality, but only numbs the pain for so long before I need to become numb again.

No, really, how long has it been? Talking to myself has passed the time, but even time is irrelevant. Not compared to Cyborg.

Oh, Cyborg. Vincent. My best friend. The only one who distracted me from this pain. The one who dropped the rope down the sinkhole for me to climb up, no matter how far away the light seemed. But the rope became slack and now I'm stuck at the bottom again. Thoughts control my emotions, and I'm too weak to do anything but watch as my life gets torn apart.

I'm alone.

The sinkhole gets deeper.

I'm still alone.

I shivered in my bed, where I had spent the days grieving. I can't focus, my vision is blurry- I'm alone.

How do I fix this? Was it always this bad?- I'm alone.

I lost control- still alone.

Thoughts float around me- alone.

Alone.

Alone.

Alone.

if only someone would help...

 **Wow. I got carried away there. Also, I know how dramatic this sounds, almost stupidly ridiculous, but Beast Boy's experience is modeled after my own. Though it's hard to explain, mental illness can be imitated through metaphors- so expect a lot of those, especially in the upcoming chapters. It's not physical, the thoughts when you're depressed or have a panic attack, so writing them is hard, so bear with me. Thanks!**

 **Also, update dates are posted on my profile! I upload pretty much every Wednesday, except when something comes up. Thank you to my reviewers! Don't be shy to leave a review. I love reading them! It encourages me.**

 **Ok I'll stop. Bye!**


	10. Episode 10: Conversation

**I'm so sorry with the recent update delays, but I have been extremely busy with finals. Thankfully, it's now summer, and I have a lot more time to write fanfictions! So, enjoy this episode!**

 _Thoughts float around me- alone._

 _Alone._

 _Alone._

 _Alone._

 _if only someone would help..._

I knocked on the door again. I didn't expect Beast Boy to talk to me. In fact, I would be ecstatic if he even opened the door. But, as I was taught, beggars can't be choosers. "Beast Boy? It's me. Raven. I want to talk with you."

No response. "I know you're hurting. I know how tough this is for you. I just want to make sure you're okay." Still nothing. I knew I had to come out and say it. He wasn't going to talk otherwise.

I wiped my sweaty hands on my pants, and said, "Beast Boy, I know you're cutting."

I heard shuffling in the room, and then the door opened, only enough for Beast Boy to see me. I could only see a sliver of his face, but it was tear stained and his hair was a mess. He was wearing sweatpants and a long-sleeve shirt, which he had presumably been wearing for a while. "Can I come in?"

He nodded slightly, avoiding my eyes. I opened the door to reveal his messy room. Frankly, it smelled awful, but now wasn't the time to discuss his room. He had rushed to his bed, which was recently replaced after he had outgrown his bunk bed. Beast Boy was staring at his hands.

I couldn't believe the dark aura that surrounded him. It was overwhelming. I had to focus. For him. "All I want to do is talk."

"There's nothing to talk about." His voice was so feeble and depressing.

"Yes, there is." I closed the door behind me and sat next to him on his bed. He scooted away from me. "You're cutting. Something has to be going on."

"It's nothing."

"I'm not leaving until you talk." I knew I was being harsh, but Robin had been even harsher with me when I was going through my slump.

Beast Boy was looking at his feet, his posters, his clothes on the floor, anything to avoid eye contact with me. "I don't want to talk."

"Beast Boy, I can feel your depression throughout the entire tower."

Beast Boy was silent. I sighed. "You're not the only one in the Tower who's cut, you know."

This got his attention. His head snapped toward me, eyes wide open. "What?"

"You're not the only person who is going through this. There are people who have gone what you're going through, and there are people who want to help you."

"Who?"

"What?"

"Who else has cut?"

"Not important." He suspected that I had cut; I knew that for a fact. What I also knew was that Robin had gone through a phase of self-harm. That was his business to tell the team, not mine.

Beast Boy's eyes traveled back to his lap. I wasn't being helpful. I was making things awkward. I wasn't used to this. Despite being an empath, I wasn't very good at comforting people. Only knowing how they were feeling.

"Beast Boy, I know you don't want to talk. I know you want me to leave you alone. But cutting is like a drug. You say you'll only do it once, and it makes you feel good. But then, you get upset. And you remember how good it made you feel. So you do it again. And again. And again. Until you're completely addicted and-" I paused to look at his face. It was still emotionless, almost frozen, but his emotions were raging. "you ultimately die. It doesn't seem plausible, but that's how it works."

"How do you even know I'm cutting?"

"I have meltdowns whenever you cut."

Beast Boy suddenly looked concerned. "But why do you have them?"

"I'm not entirely sure, but I think it's because we share the same pain."

"What?" He was becoming angry. I could sense that. I tried to stay calm. "How could you ever understand what I'm going through?" He began to stand up to look down on me. "Has Starfire ever almost been brutally murdered in her sleep?" He was practically shouting now.

"No, Beast Boy. But I've cut. I cut for nearly two years. And you know what? If I didn't get help, I would be dead right now. I would have committed suicide. My father was a goddamn inter dimensional demon!" I was getting riled up now. I stood up and we were face-to-face. "Escaping him was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Living on Earth was worse. People staring at you. Laughing at you. Grown adults either cowering in fear or running at you. It's not easy." Hot tears were streaming down both of our faces. "It only got worse. Had I not met you and Robin and the rest of the Titans, I would have easily committed suicide. And I know that your best friend almost being murdered is traumatic. But you know that you can come to us. And you know that we will talk with you. You just won't."

Beast Boy reached for my arm. He rolled up my left sleeve. I stared at his face as he looked at the faint white scars that traveled all the way up my forearm. His face was emotionless, but his emotions were frantic. He was angry, scared, and confused. He lightly traced his finger over the scars, making me shudder. Everyone knew I had them. But only robin knew what they were from, though the Titans were smart enough to figure it out by now. Nobody had dared to touch my scars. Not Cyborg when I was in the infirmary, not Starfire when she insisted we had a homemade spa day, not Robin when showing me fighting positions. I pulled my arm away. Beast Boy looked blankly at the space where my arm once was. I forced my sleeve back down. He sat back down on the bed. I followed suit.

"It's always been like this," he said quietly. "I've always been depressed. I've always had anxiety. And Cyborg helped me through it. And now that he's gone-"

"Did he help you? Or did he distract you from your issues?" I interrupted.

He was silent once again. I gently rubbed his back as more tears streamed down his face. "It happens often. When you think someone's helping you. But they're not. They're distracting you. They're trying to ignore the problem instead of facing it head-on. From what I've seen, Cyborg's done a pretty good job of distracting you, but I'm not sure if he's helping you in any way."

"He was helping."

"By distracting you."

Beast Boy looked into my eyes, his green eyes dull with sadness. "So he wasn't helping me."

"Well, He was. Just temporarily."

"He's a good person."

"Never said he wasn't. He just didn't know how to handle the situation."

We sat there in silence. I was about to give in to my anxiety and leave, but I noticed Beast Boy wanted to ask me something. "What is it?"

"Why are you feeling all of this now? Aren't you an empath?"

"Yes, but I only sense emotions as they come. If I sensed all emotions at once, there would be no point in my powers. It would just be a mess of every feeling."

He seemed satisfied with that answer. We sat there for a few more minutes before he asked me another question. "Can't you read minds, though?"

I smirked. "Well, yeah. But I don't do it often."

He gave me a quizzical look.

"It's an invasion of privacy. I may be half-demon, but I was taught manners."

"Oh."

"That's why I was so upset when I read your mind the other day. It was the first time I read your mind when you were in that state. And either way, I can't sense mental illnesses by just reading someone's mind. If I could, we would have you on ADHD medication way earlier."

"That's not really a mental illness."

"Well, you get my point."

We sat in silence, getting lost in our thoughts. After about 5 minutes, I stood up. He followed me with his eyes.

"Wait," he said quickly.

I turned around. "Yes?"

His eyes migrated to his lap. "I'm scared. My powers are out of my control, and I'm not sure how to fix it."

"Well, you're having a rational conversation with me now without morphing so I think it's getting better."

He shrugged and sighed.

"Beast Boy, I know it's not easy. But I'm here to help you. If you ever need anyone to talk to, or an arm to lean on, I'm right here."

"Thanks, Raven."

"I'm not trying to force you into anything right now, but you have to eat. You haven't eaten in 2 days."

"But-"

"Nope. No buts. Come with me and let's eat."

Beast Boy stood up tentatively. I turned around and opened the door. The two walked down the hallway, into the elevator, into the living room, and into the kitchen in silence.

Once they arrived, Beast Boy sat at his usual spot at the table while I opened the fridge. "What do you want? We could do cereal, a sandwich, a salad.."

"A small salad sounds nice." Beast Boy said quietly, staring out at the city skyline.

I grabbed lettuce, tomatoes, and cheese. With my powers, i grabbed a bowl and threw everything together. I sat down next to Beast Boy, handing him the salad.

Beast Boy faintly smiled. "Thanks."

"No problem. Now eat."

He stared at the food. He picked up the fork and stabbed some lettuce. He studied it before putting it in his mouth and eating it. He wasn't very hungry, but he knew he needed to eat. He slowly ate the whole bowl, finishing it within a few minutes with Raven sitting next to him, her hand supporting her head as she watched. "See? That wasn't so hard, was it?"

Beast Boy made a face at me. I sighed and the bowl and fork glided into the sink encased in black energy. "Can I shower?" Beast Boy asked.

"Yeah, sure. Just don't hide in your room. We miss you."

He nodded and left the room swiftly, clearly uncomfortable.

Robin ran into the kitchen about 10 minutes later. "Raven!" His voice was panicked.

"What?" I stood up.

"I got a call from Dr. Goldberg. Cy just had a stroke."

 **Thank y'all for reading! I really appreciate it. Stay tuned for the next episode!**


	11. Episode 11: Detour

_Robin ran into the kitchen about 10 minutes later. "Raven!" His voice was panicked._

 _"What?" I stood up._

 _"I got a call from Dr. Goldberg. Cy just had a stroke."_

I stood there in silence, stunned.

"They advises us not to check on him for two days or so. He'll be okay. They think."

"They think or they know?"

"They're pretty sure."

I sat back down. I didn't know how to react. Obviously Cyborg was in a critical condition, and now he might be dying. And we were still no closer to figuring out who did this.

"He's stabilized now, but he's being monitored closely." Robin said, cutting off my thoughts.

"We need to find the bastard who did this to him. I still say it was Terra. The evidence is strong with the jail escape-"

"Raven, I want to talk to you." My stomach dropped. He knew something was wrong. He was suspicious, as he should be. Though we no longer talked as regularly, he could almost sense when something wasn't right.

"Yeah. Sure." He led me into the living room and sat down on the couch. I sat on his right, looking at him.

"What's going on? You haven't shattered anything in nearly a year since..." his voice trailed off.

"Yeah. I know. Beast Boy's emotions have been on the fritz to say the least."

"I've noticed."

"They're affecting me more than I thought."

"Why?"

I paused. I didn't want to tell him about Beast Boy cutting. "I guess we've just gotten pretty close."

I knew this wasn't going to cut it. He wasn't stupid. He solemnly nodded, not believing me. He let me keep my secrets secret as long as they weren't hurting anyone. I was grateful for that.

"How are we going to tell him?" he asked. I honestly wasn't sure. If we did tell him, he would hide himself away forever. "I already told Star. She freaked, but she'll get over it."

"I'll tell him. But not yet. I just got him to eat. Let's give him a break."

Robin nodded at my request and sat back against the couch, sighing. "This is too much."

"I agree." I slump next to him. "We need a break."

Suddenly, Robin's communicator buzzed. He bit his lip as he saw who was calling. "Who is it?" I asked.

"Police Department. Hopefully it's worthwhile." He pressed the answer button on the screen, and put the communicator on speaker so Raven could hear.

"Robin." A solemn voice was made known. Raven knew that it was the Head of the Department.

"Yes, Francis. What is happening?"

"Well, we heard about Vic, and we wanted to send our blessings."

Robin looked surprised. "Oh. Um, yeah. Thanks."

"Also, we found Terra and we have her here in the department. Thought you might want to interrogate her. We dug into the wormhole of her past history and we realized that she should probably be put in a high security prison."

"I've been telling you that for years."

"Well, it's hard to find information on these villains. They go by different names and change them so often that it's hard to match the pieces of the puzzle."

Robin rolled his eyes. "Okay. When is her court date?"

"Two days from now. You'll have an hour to interrogate her. Show up whenever. She isn't going anywhere."

"Alright. Thanks.We'll let you know."

"Be careful, kid. She's dangerous."

"I'm completely aware. Believe me. Hey, while I have you here can you do a check on Kitten Moth? Where she is at the moment? She's part of a case we're working on." I glared at Robin. There was no way in hell that Kitten would do this. She had no motives, there was no evidence against her. She was innocent. I didn't know why Robin would just accept that and move on.

"Kitten Moth. As in Killer Moth?"

"Yeah. Adoptive father. I think. I'm not entirely sure what their relationship is, just that Moth sees Kitten as a daughter figure."

"I'll check it out. See you later."

"Bye." Robin ended the call. I stared at him. "What?"

"Kitten? Really?"

"We need to deduce all factors as a precaution."

"Did you forget that I can read minds? If I get close enough to her, I can tell if she did it or not."

"Right. But all the evidence we have just shows that the figure is about 5'6" and blonde. Could really be anyone."

I was pissed. It was Terra. Not Kitten. I knew Robin was just doing his job, so I didn't argue with him. I simply melted through the floor and landed on my bed. I glanced at my clock. 3:28. I had to go to the department today. This case needed to end and it needed to end now. The sooner it was over, the faster Beast Boy got better. And that was important right now. I telepathically grabbed a book and started reading to calm my mind.

TTT

"Raven?" Robin's voice was muffled through my thick door. I picked up my communicator, which had been modified (by Cyborg) to be more cell phone like. With extra features, of course. The time was 5:14. I put down my book and opened my door.

"Yeah?" Starfire was standing behind Robin almost emotionless.

"We're going to interrogate Terra. Try and get Beast Boy to come. The media can't know about the emotional trauma he's going through." The media wasn't very big on the Titans, mostly because Jump City was relatively small and it was common to see the Titans walk down the street. Of course, fans and children would stop them, but they were never afraid to go out in casual clothes to get a coffee or something of the sort. The media only really covered politics and big fights that happen. I knew Robin was being paranoid, but in this case, it was probably best to be cautious than to be careless.

I nodded. "Give me 10 minutes."

"They're expecting us at 5:30." He sadly smiled and walked away, Starfire closely at his heels.

 **Thanks for reading! Sorry for the delay and the shortness of my story. I don't have an excuse, just that I'm lazy. I'll try to upload more regularly from now on.**


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